It’s the day after Valentine’s this year and I have my thoughts. Here they are presented… unfiltered (and probably really mean).
Stop minimizing love. What exactly do I mean by that? It’s simple. How many of you felt lonely yesterday because you did not have a valentine? How many of you celebrated “Single Awareness Day”? The issue here is not so much that you are alone, but rather you’ve defined love in a very specific manner. You’ve made the assumption that in order to be loved, the love you need to experience has to be a romantic love.
That’s complete garbage.
Before I get into it, let me preface my letting you guys know that I am no scholar on love. I’m just a normal everyday dude making observations about the world around me.
Alright, so let’s talk about love.
I think the greeks put it best when they describe for us the 4 types of love: Agape, Phileo, Storge, and Eros.
Here’s what they mean:
Agape: an unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface and accepts the recipient for whom he/she is, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings or faults. It’s the type of love that everyone strives to have for their fellow human beings.
Phileo: an affectionate, warm and tender platonic love. It makes you desire friendship with someone. It’s the kind of love which livens up the Agape love.
Storge: It is a kind of family and friendship love. This is the love that parents naturally feel for their children; the love that member of the family have for each other; or the love that friends feel for each other.
Eros: a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings; it is the kind that often triggers “high” feelings in a new relationship and makes you say, “I love him/her”.
(The descriptions were taken from this blog: http://totescute.com/four-types-of-love-greek-style/)
I don’t want to talk about the deep philosophical roots about the 4 types of love. That’s a whole different conversation that probably can’t be fit in a single blog post. But now that you have a general understand of the four types we can continue.
In the past week, I’ve seen so many people complain about not being loved or not having that special someone who makes you feel like you are loved. And I’ll give you this, those feelings are probably instilled in you by the commercialization of love we see all around us. Every business is trying to make you feel like you are less than who you really are if you are not dating or in a relationship.
And it’s not just the commercialization of love, but this happens even within communities like the Church (I’m using the Church as an example because its a setting I’m very familiar with). We are not given the opportunity to express any type of love because people make assumptions that affect relationships before the relationship is given an opportunity to blossom. Here is an example: say I’m trying to build a relationship with someone of the opposite gender (let’s call her Cassie). All I want to do is to talk to her, build a friendship with her and get to know her. As I’m sure many of you can attest to it, I can’t build that relationship with Cassie, because when someone else in the Church see us talking or going and grabbing a cup of coffee with each other, y’all jump to the conclusion that Cassie and myself are pursuing a eros love.
My point is, for some reason, we have forgotten that love is far more than something that is romantic. Just because you are not in a relationship doesn’t mean you are not loved. Or that you are not allowed to love. I just a post on Facebook yesterday where a girl was asked to be a Valentine by her friend who was like a brother to her. That’s Phileo love, and is my NO MEANS any lesser than eros. We all have families that love us and that we love (in varying degrees, but still). That is storge love, which again is NO LESS than eros love. And sometimes we just love because we are a loving people. That’s agape love.
Just because you don’t experience an eros love does not mean you are not loved or cannot love. Love is so much more. And when you minimize it to just one branch of it you are disrespecting the mighty power of love. It’s like saying Picasso’s Starry Night isn’t art because you’ve just seen the corner of the painting.
That’s about all I have for you today. Just remember, you are loved.
Peace, love, and chocolate.